1997
[ed: Following is a script Elaine and Mike used when asked by their church to participate on a panel discussing various stages of married life.]
Mike: We’ve been residents of the Palisades for 43 years. We are products of Catholic education from the 1930’s and 40’s. So, as a usual Catholic couple of the times, we made a marriage commitment and it’s been very easy for me ever since—and fun. In our almost 48 years together I’ve been blessed with a wonderful wife, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Today, we were asked to speak about “The Empty Nest” and “The Retirement Years.”
Elaine: May I offer my thoughts on these subjects. When the nest is empty you have mixed feelings of happiness and sadness. I no longer had the pressure of caring for six children. Now I had more time to volunteer in activities that interested me. But I’ll let you in on a little secret: Your children will probably ask to come back to the nest. That’s when we should travel.
Mike: We were in our late 50’s when our sixth and last child went off to college. I was always so busy with Medical Practice and a lot of different organizations that I didn’t feel much affected. As a matter of fact, with regret now, I feel I was not at home with my family enough. Of course, we had graduations, an ordination, weddings, and then the thrill and fun of grandchildren. But whatever the “Empty Nest” years were, they didn’t last long. When we were in our 60’s a family of three moved back in. Actually, it gave Elaine and me a chance to sneak away more week-ends than usual. Well, we are alone again. We are blessed by having our son, Father Dick living close by. In my retirement, I wanted to be sure I kept busy. Well, my schedule is cluttered, having taken on too many jobs again. I wanted to improve my golf game, but haven’t. And although I’m retired, Elaine is not. She is still chief cook, bottle washer, and homemaker.
Elaine: When do I get to retire? The pattern of our lifestyle changed when Mike retired. Once again we had to learn the lessons needed to continue our commitment and loving relationship. Here are some suggestions: make time to be together, make time to be apart, make time to share God’s Gifts.
Mike: So we thank God for His blessings. We live in a nice community and a good parish. We have wonderful friends, and are not planning to move to a retirement village. I’m an optimist and have never much worried over matters, except for very sick patients or when our teenagers were still out after 1:00 AM. I will conclude that, with our strong faith and religious upbringing, we try living the words of the Lord’s Prayer, probably the most important ones being, “Thy will be done.”
Elaine's Memoirs 