April 1995
Doctor, oh Doctor, why can I not see? You’ve a macular hole in your eye, says he.
As skilled hands perform the eye surgery, I pray for a successful recovery.
For weeks I must walk with head bent down, checking my shoe tops like a humpback clown.
Don’t let anyone see your face. Just keep that gas bubble in place.
I swear that I kept that gas bubble in place. But surgery was not successful in my case.
Now, Elaine, don’t be a baby and sadly cry; You’ll learn to adjust to your holey left eye!
My Husband Goes Shopping at the Market
After my eye surgery, Mike had the added chore of going to the grocery store. Now he has picked up milk and bread at Hughes market but was he prepared for the Big Time?
Let me set the scene: a man with a four day shopping list heads to the local super market. He is stopped by parents of his little patients… Hello, Dr. Martini etc., etc.
First grocery stop…milk and yogurt. Oops…the yogurts are being moved forward by the unseen clerk behind the shelves. The containers begin to fall and Mike tries retrieving them.
Next stop: the soup aisle…up goes Mike’s arm to get his soup cans. Poorly stacked, they come tumbling down. After chasing the cans down the aisle, Mike returns them to the other stacked cans, only to knock over 6 or 7 wooden ladles!
He turns around and queries,”Where is my grocery cart? It’s gone!” A woman comes running up the aisle…“Doctor, Doctor, I guess I accidentally took your cart. “
After waiting behind the lady who ordered three kinds of fish, he moves on to the crowded check out lines. The lines are very long. He looks at his grocery list only to discover he had forgotten the luncheon meats. He leaves his cart in line and dashes over to get the forgotten item. He returns to find that a husband and wife with two full carts have pushed his cart aside. Do they also have coupons?
Upon returning home he decides microwave dinners will be just fine!
Elaine's Memoirs 