June, 1990
I could never have raised my family without her. She was a loving influence in the lives of us all. But before meeting her, I was positive we would have a problem. After all, wasn’t Michael an only child born 11 years after his parents’ marriage?
He was a very spoiled child, if one were to believe his cousins who tell this story: The Martini’s Sr. were having a party (they enjoyed gathering with friends.) As was customary, people placed their coats and hats on a bed. “Little Mario” proceeded to jump on the bed crushing the men’s felt hats. The hat owners were understandingly upset, but Mama Grace’s reaction was, “Isn’t that cute!”
My doubts…would she constantly interfere in our lives after we married and moved to L.A.?
The first year to my surprise was a pleasant one. My mother- in-law treated me as the daughter she had always wanted. From Grace I learned to cook “Italian.” Every Sunday we had dinner at the Martini’s on 6211 Maryland Drive. I began letting down my mother-in-law fear barrier after her first eye surgery during my first year of marriage. I would go to St. Vincent·s Hospital to help feed Grace and we talked and grew in friendship.
Her protectiveness of her son, spilled over to include me. When Mike had to spend the night at General Hospital (as he did every third night), Grace. would insist I spend the night at their home. She was the one who called the doctor and the cab to get us to St. Vincent’s Hospital for the birth of our first child… a little granddaughter. She was so happy. Grace adored children. She couldn’t pass by a baby buggy without admiring the infant inside. In her eyes every child was BEAUTIFUL and we all know beauty is only in the eyes of the beholder!
Less than a year after my father-in-law’s sudden death in 1959 from a heart attack, Grace decided to sell her house and move to the Palisades. She rented a small apartment at 870 Haverford where many other elderly ladies lived.
Grace was a very independent woman. She had been a blonde Sicilian and much sought after before coming to the USA with her family as a young adult. She loved to dress up and her HATS were a trademark.
After moving to the Palisades, Grace spent much time at our house. She helped me by being available for sitting the children. She seemed to enjoy doing the laundry. The children used to jokingly say “Grandma Nonna takes the clothes off our backs in order to have something to wash and iron.”
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Addenda to all newlyweds:
Now the biggest problem after marriage is what proper name to call your in-laws.
Mrs. Martini…(too formal);
Mother? (I felt that name belonged only to my mother.) Grace…(I felt uncomfortable with a first name basis.)
The arrival of a grandchild solved this problem…My mother-in-law become GRANDMA NONNA.
After a few years I finally was able to call her by her baptismal name, Grace.
When I acquired sons or daughters-in-law, I would discuss this hurdle with them early on. Please, I’ d say call me Elaine, Mother, Mom etc. but please call me something nice.
Currently, to my face, I am called MOM, Mother, Elaine, Grandmother and Grandma!
Elaine's Memoirs 